first day at work

Greetings

When i wrote the coming soon blog on Tuesday(which ALL of you must've noticed(!!1)), i thought i'd do the first day @ work post the next day. But such is life. Work is sort of hectic so never really got the time until now.

Ovar serious ho gya. Don't see any point doing a first day@work post when I've already had a week at work.(fake lol). but i'll do it anyway. (WHAT)

So 9.40(late!) i holler at the receptionist (i think his name is alex. hes black, has a moustache and probably goes to church. every day. to wash away his sins. ok no hes a good guy). im made to sit at the CC desk coz they haven't pimped out(read set up) my cubicle yet. So i sit around. and wait. Normally i would have chatted up the CC lady and joked about some random thing, but then again this is not college. So i sit. and wait. 2 hours and im reading this ppt about the company and what it does. then i get this company report to read. Yawn. I see the CC lady's desk n she has a picture of herself and her hunky husband up on her desk. I have NO idea how she hooked up with him. I think it was a case of inner beauty. That, or bachpan ka vaada.

The day was mostly spent filling up company employee forms, getting my computer, visiting cards (yeah baby) and stuff sorted out. Somewhere in between, my boss dude made a joke about how my desk was being set up in the basement near the car parking.

I forced a chuckle.

It was tough.

That apart, this lady opposite my desk called up her friend to wish her on her 40th birthday and was well, loud. She said, and i qoute, "40 is the new 30". Right. and 20 is the new 10. Yay! Im about to be a teenager in 3 years. * Hi 5 *

Had lunch with SV and D-man and generally chatted up about real estate. Im officially Vijender. You know, the world famous properties guy from Khosla Ka Ghosla? No? never mind.

Yawn. I'm sleepy. I wish i could write more but its like 4 am. No, it IS 4 am.

will try and write soon.

dh!

P.S. Met most of my team over the week. pretty cool ppl them. work has been hectic yea so get tired. very tired. that apart, the traffic is SO effed up i'll soon do a traffic post.Thank god i don't have to drive to ggn.The office dudes are kinda uptight(read a lot older) so i can't joke around as much. But its all good. IHZ all guuuuddddh.

P.S. 2 Man i love shahid afridi. and no, not like Yawn i like his batting Yawn. More like, i youtubed his interviews on GeoTv and spent 3 hours watching them. Yes i can be weird at times. I love u man.

peace up

hello toodles. firstly, back to english.

i don't know what toodles means. i just said that coz it sounds fun. so fuck u.

ok maybe that was rude. so screw u.

much better.

wait, wasn't toodles slang for bye?

so anyway, life is good. by the time you read this, i already would have played cricket at sirifort in the morning followed by drinks in the....afternoon.

cold drinks.

nevermind that. went to ndtv today. their cab picked me up n dropped me back so yay. and i had coffee there.

thats about it. the show was stupid. really. thank u jammu tavi for attending it with me! aside, met karti K ther. that guy looks like he's on a caffeine high 24/7. nice guy though. i like him. when he's not ovar the top i.e.

talking of which, OVAR. i've been saying that a lot. in my book, ovar is used in place of over to add emphasis to the term. ( pronounced ovAAAAr). write that down.

i just want to say ovar, ovar and ovar again.

oh and work starts next week. *chicken dance*. i ended up penetrating the same hole i wanted to in the first place(1). life is weird. which is good.

there we have it. innuendo!

talking of work DevD got thru this other place. really happy man. its cool everything is panning out so awesomely. Its all good. relax.

talking of talking, i was talking to you-dont-know-who about hard ons the other day. you know what i'm talking about. Erections. well, the bone of contention..hahahhaha..ok wait. maybe i should keep it for my R rated blog.

baaki, dd is still dd. senti kyun maarti hai yaar? you know how i feel about juice na!

work reminds me, how will i wake up in the mornings? i mean HOW THE F*** will i wake up on time? Shit will hit the fan. I know. Pagaar kaat lenge :l

I wrote this shit on Saturday but forgot to post it. So i'm just putting this bitch up as it is coz today is a different day and i don't want to mess with Saturday's me.

coz he dangerous.

(1) no you perv. i meant this real estate dope ass organisation called cbre. google us!

रैनडमली तुम्हारा

मेरे प्रिय मित्रों,
सप्रेम नमस्ते ।
आज केवल हिन्दी।क्योंकि मेरा मन् कर राहा है।

पिछले हफ्ते की आई एम् एस कक्षाएं रद्द हो गयीं क्योंकी उन्होंनेअंग्रेज़ी इज्ज़त (Hons) प्रवेश परीक्षा हेतु नई कक्षाएं शुरू कर दी हैं।नोशनल लॉस हो गया। मतलब यहाँ भी कट्टा । भी शब्द का प्रयोग इसलिए क्योंकि मोबिसोल्व ने चूत्याप मचा कर मुझे बेरोजगार कर दिया। वह था कट्टा नम्बर १।

अब मैं फिर वहीं आ गया जहाँ पे पहले था। यानी " बेक टू स्क्वेयर वन" । थैंक यू प्रभु। क्यूँ ले रहे हो मेरा।

इम्तेहान। हालांकि यही हाल जगह जगह हो रहा है(पर मैं ही क्यों?)।उदाहरन - मेरा मित्र शिवताज अमरीका में उच्च पढाई के बाद भी यहाँ लौटकर काम की तलाश में है। यानी जब भगवान् देता है तोह छप्पर फाड़ के देता है और जब लेता है तोह नंगाकर देता है ।
मतलब भगवन = " अ बुली; विद अ हार्ट" ।

खैर अच्छे लोगों के साथ अच्छा ही होता है।

मतलब मैं तोह गया।

बैहरहाल, आजकल काफी भ्रमन हो रहा है। रविवार को वसंत विहार गया और रात में साईडवोक। सोमवार को देव, सत्यम एवं मदान से खाने पर मिला। बाद में चुस्की भी खाई और जीवन मरण इत्यादि पर चर्चा भी की। यह देव मेरी बोहत लेता है। पर दिल का साफ़ है। मंगलवार को माताजी का जन्मदिन था और कल गया गुडगाँव और रातमें क्लब। मतलब काफ़ी भ्रमन।

माताजी को मैने फूल दीये और निरंतर प्रयास किया कि उनकी खुशी का पात्र बनूँ।

फूल रात में लाया था इसलिए सस्ते भी मिल गए। पर ये बात माताजी को मत बताना।

अब मैं चला। ६ बज गए हैं।
यानी स्तनपान टाइम ।
आपका अपना,
द्ध१

पी ऐस १ -
सृष्टि कल विदेश जा रही है। मैं अपने ब्लॉग के माध्यम से आशा करता हूँ कि वह खूब मज़ा करे।
और मेरे लिए कुछ बढ़िया लाये। :)

पी एस २ -
मुझे लगता है मेरे वाहियाद परिहासों से बचे कुचे पाठक भी इस ब्लॉग पे आना छोड़ देंगे।

जय जुन्जुनु

avant garde

Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

The first is pick up stuff.

 

If you're disabled.

BOOM goes da RIDDIM

Hello my nigger friends.

How is it hanging?

Life’s a bitch eh?

Underachieved throughout your existence?

No social standing?

Neighbourhood kids still poke fun at ya?

Relationship issues?

Penile dysfunction?

No self respect?

I got just what you need

*drumrolls*

Presenting -> 

.

.

.

.

Poison.

Think about it! Give back to the community by cutting down its population(!)

.

.

.

.

This is the end of the blogpost.

P.S. If you have any bright ideas, feedback or big boobs, holler at yo boi.

Umm..im not your boy..im just saying..just email me.

Also, the poison bit was just jokes. Don’t experiment with shit like that and blame me later. Come to think of it, you wouldn’t be able to.

just when you thought i couldn't stoop lower !

(..)

Awwal Number*

i love cricket. period.

it is a great leveller. like death. but i digress.

This blog is dedicated to my random blabbering about cricket.

But first, thank you Mr.Modi and the BCCI.meri raatein rangeen karne ke liye! matlab IPL aur kya.Talking of which, i made some moves on my cricinfo league team(proper payoff diagram bana ke.or maybe not) and they paid off. so from the highs of topping the league to the lows of being 16th out of 50 odd people, im back again in the top 5.malinga chaiye yaar. and an all rounder to replace shukla. if only nayar got to bat regularly.Also, thank you balki for your help.

Watching jayasurya and sachin bat together for the 100 run partnership against KKR the other day was just bliss. pure bliss. i love this game. Its sad Punjab lost yesterday though. Yuvi was in top form and im sure Mr. Yograaj Singh is disappointed and will go around shooting people for the heck of it**.

Yograaj Singh, Yuvi ka papa-->

Which brings us to player no.1-my main man Praveen Kumar. He looks like such a gangster with his gold chain, stout build and this silent, dangerous vibe about him. Sai banda hai yaar. Really like that guy for no real reason. What he lacks in pace, he makes up in swing and the way his ball skids after hitting the turf. Plus he's a cool guy, very grounded and very earthy. Can whack a few too. Push him up the order, mr.whoever is the captain for RCB's next match!

My boy Uthhappas up next. Stop blaming jesus and get some runs dude! I was hoping he'd give a serious fight this time around for he needs to make a place in the 11 with the t20 cup around the corner. Why he is screwing up every time, only he knows. Likeable guy otherwise and the reason he is still even in my books is his mosquito squat for 6 off a 150kmph brett lee bouncer in the VB series. Recreate or perish!

The other thing i've realised is, it's always best to go with your gut instinct. Like i didn't want to pick ryder in my team for i thought he would'nt do too well in the IPL. but alas, i didnot listen to the sane part of me because everyone else had seemingly picked up mr. ryder and so there was groupthink and we all know what would’ve happened next.

Coming back,Raina is one proper fighter. He somehow ups his game when the chips are down and fights the good fight. and hits huge sixes at deep mid wicket along the way.lambi race ka ghoda hai.and he doesn’t need to rant and rave like Virat Kohli to show he’s charged up!  He is the reason Mr.lazy genius/heir apparent to tendya(Rohit Sharma, aur kaun) has to twiddle his thumbs on match days.Like the time his place was uncertain in the team and he hit back to back hundreds against them Pakis.Plus he is left-handed so i anyway have a soft corner for him.More power to you suresh.

Moving on, Ishant Sharma. bhai tu itna ugly kyun hai yaar? I'm the last person who'd discriminate based on the way people look, but in his case I'll make an exception.And if that wasn't enough, you should hear him speak. But allah meherbaan, toh gadha pehelwaan. He gets to do what the fakeiplplayer*** says he does in S.A. while i do what Rohit Sharma gets to do in the Indian test team. 

Talking of which, what is up with Mr. Ravi Shastri. Why. WHY did he speak to Yusuf Pathan in english after his hurricane superover innings, when he KNOWS for a fact that yusuf isn't comfortable. What is up with his assumed IamCoolerThanAndSuperiortoEveryone thingamajig? The only guy he seems to have a soft corner(and hard on****) for is our man Yuvi. And i really wanted to hear what yusuf had to say so thanks for nothing ravi ji.

The one guy i love though, is Harsha Bhogle.He is also part of the reason i've grown up loving cricket(the other part being Tendya).(P.S. Totally looking forward to another season of Champions of the World sir.)Its so good to hear him again.All the other commentators JUST DONT MAKE THE CUT. Why don't they get it. I mean, Aamir Sohail?! I could commentate better than him! He reminds me of Mr.Burns(Simpsons). And everytime i see him, i’m reminded of the 1996 indo-pak world cup semi where he rubbed venky the wrong way and paid the price. Now THAT was a game.

And why isn't Tyron Henderson in the playing 11?! Hell, RR paid 650,000 for him they sure as hell could do with a few runs. And the guy is Good. Surely better than Quiney, Paul Valthadey or whichever shitty player they pick to fill up the 4 qouta. WHY? Why Warnie WHY?

Team talk then. I really want Delhi to do well. But we NEED warner in the middle. I mean dinesh(nice helmet) karthik at no.5? viru kya kar rah hai yaar.And it’s about time pidge came into the scheme of things as well. Half the IPL is already gone! Deccan has played to potential but I would want to see how they keep it tight once edwards is gone.Ojha reminds of Jose, the VJ. He flights the ball the same way Murali Kartik doesn’t. Isliye chance hai iska. Brownie points coz mere jaise lefty spinner hai! hehe.Punjab could do with a little luck. They have the firepower but somehow there’s this spark missing. Yuvi came good in the last match so here’s hoping he can bring the team together like Kumble did the other day. Aur kya mast over daala Praveen ne. More brownie points to him. I still have my faith in Punjab though. They’re in my cool book and I want them to win, so win they shall. Chennai needs bowlers although the new ones came good today against Delhi.Didn’t see them play but im guessing they’re better than Joginder Sharma. Everyone is! Consistency wali baat hai with Chennai.But i expect them to do well as well. Mumbai looks tight.They have a good bowling line up  with in form Zak n Malinga keeping Bhajji company.Their batting though, sans the formidable openers, looks a bit shaky so i won’t put my money on Mumbai JUST YET.Which leaves us with RR. Warnie really knows how to extract the best out of his resources and is one of the smartest tacticians this game has seen. More than his moves, it’s his apparent sense of control over the game which I believe must be intimidating for the opposition. Having said that, they really need Smith to fire constantly if they intend to go the whole hog this time. They’re really missing Watson and I’m sure the law of averages will soon catch up with Yusuf Pathan which will then be a tricky place to be in for the RR. Play Henderson, bitches! Raut and Carseldine looked good today though.

On the whole, it’s getting closer than one would’ve thought, so realistically every team(apart from KKR i.e.) has a chance. Lets see if Kumble charged RCB can spoil the party.

That’s all for today folks. Kaafi likh liya yaar.I can keep talking like this forever.

warmth,

dh

--

*Awwal Number was  a movie on cricket made by Dev Anand(starring Aamir Khan)

<-- Dev Saab. Scouting for fresh faces for his upcoming movie after the success of Love at Times Square and Mr.Prime Minister Do you have it in you?

** The reference is, Yograaj Singh was supposedly involved in the Jessica Lal murder case

***FakeIPLplayer says Ishant is getting some carnal activity these days in shady places, S.A.

****google what hard on means if you don't know already, noob.

p.s. here's my list of teams for the semis.it is anybodys game abhi but these are the teams i expect to make it to the semis(note that I could be totally wrong. I mean TOTALLY. but i want these ones to go through) - Delhi, Punjab, Chennai, and a 4th. Mumbai won't make it through. sorry Mum.although my dream final would be DD vs MI. but thats the thing with wishes, innit?...