Jai ho

Got a job on friday. 2 actually, and in the shortlist for a third so life is good and god is kind.
Here's hoping for a few years of fun with them iit iim people at work before my masters. The interview went pretty awesome and they offered me a job right then and there. I felt good, simply because i was my natural self and it was great that they accepted me that way. Went for a little dinner with the family so it's all good.

Also got an awesome pair of shoes. It was worth the whole looking around i guess. If you demand and settle for nothing but the best, you get the best eh? Also got more clothes that i don't need and a guitar which i shall now attempt to strum away to glory. I know it's too late but better late than never right?

Talking of clothes, i love blazers->

On a different note, Naomi Campbell was on TV the other day. Nothing special; i just find her name funny. It's I Moan backwards.

Went to the msosa play then. It sucked so hard we were totally blown(metaphorically) by the interval and hence didnot return. I only wonder if Dy and Karn will ever go for a play with me after i made them come all the way for this shit. Don't get me wrong, the acting wasn't bad. In fact, it was actually quite good. All the play lacked was a script.And humour, seeing as it was meant to be a comedy. We were only waiting for Shivain's part but we had waited enough before we had had enough.
I was walking with R a couple of days back(saturday) when it happened.Let's just say we(rather, I) were(was) about to get beaten up by 7 mad gujjars for no apparent reason.Sometimes we search for one thing but discover quite another. Even though I didn't find the mystery girl or figure out the elusive point of it all or other such things of consequence, i did find out something very important about myself... I'm awesome. Haha as you've probably guessed the day was saved, thanks to yours truly. But more than unprecented acts of bravery and common sense, what's significant is it brought us together in some inexplicable way.

Saw slumdog. 

It should get the oscar. Not because it's the best film in contention or whatever, (hell, the wrestler is not even nominated) but simply because it gets the message of hope and faith conquering all

 across so it's really the right thing at the right time and my guess is the academy would love tha

t. Not taking anything away from the movie though. It was quite a ride even though it had its flaws, but is any movie perfect? Sometimes you have to just enjoy it for what 

it is and not nit pick. And i noticed them because there were simply too many expectations from the movie. Sometimes the baggage works, sometimes it doesn't. Like i remember i saw Jab We Met with zilch expectations and came out smiling. It's like the real world actually. If you don't expect too much, you end up getting overwhelmed. On the flipside, if you expect too much, you almost always end up grumpy. It boils down to you.

Talking of oscar buzz, Heath Ledger should get best supporting actor, wall-e should get best animated feature, sean penn should get best actor(milk, although in all fairness Mickey Rourke deserves it for the wrestler),kate winslet should get best actress(the reader), penelope->best supporting actress n waltz with bashir should get best foreign film. Lets see how right or wrong i end up being.oh and Slumdog gets the big 2 (movie, director)+rahman gets both.

My lyrics for today come from a cheesy Punjabi track that i grew up listening and is the theme song of my life.

Haha, just kidding. Love Supreme - Robbie Williams, (Sing When You're Winning)

Oh it seemed forever stopped today 
All the lonely hearts in London 
Caught a plane and flew away 
And all the best women are married 
All the handsome men are gay 
You feel deprived 

Yeah are you questioning your size? 
Is there a tumour in your humour, 
Are there bags under your eyes? 
Do you leave dents where you sit, 
Are you getting on a bit? 
Will you survive 
You must survive 

When there's no love in town 
This new century keeps bringing you down 
All the places you have been 
Trying to find a love supreme 
A love supreme 

Oh what are you really looking for? 
Another partner in your life to 
abuse and to adore? 
Is it lovey dovey stuff, 
Do you need a bit of rough? 
Get on your knees 

Yeah turn down the love songs that you hear 
'Cause you can't avoid the sentiment 
That echoes in your ear 
Saying love will stop the pain 
Saying love will kill the fear 
Do you believe 
You must believe 
When there's no love in town 
This new century keeps bringing you down 
All the places you have been 
Trying to find a love supreme 
A love supreme 

I spy with my little eye 
Something beginning with (ah) 
Got my back up 
And now she's screaming 
So I've got to turn the track up 
Sit back and watch the royalties stack up 
I know this girl she likes to switch teams 
And I'm a fiend but I'm living for a love supreme 

When there's no love in town 
This new century keeps bringing you down 
All the places you have been 
Trying to find a love supreme 
A love supreme 

Come and live a love supreme 
Don't let it get you down 
Everybody lives for love 

Come and live a love supreme 
Don't let it get you down 
Everybody lives for love 

--

Dh1

p.s. if you love me, you may gift me Thierry Mugler's A*Men or Issey Miyake's Pour Homme. Either will do.

the reason

i treated the guys to booze and food on friday, a kind of soft mini bday celebration(which still cost a lot by the way) which presents me with a peculiar problem. it still leaves about 9 ppl that i still need to treat for which i need a) a plan, b) money. also sristay-vasu have already given me bday gifts so more guilt pangs coz i'm yet to treat em :l . i dropped the original everyone coming together at my place/lodhi picnic idea coz i just didn't feel like it. plus i have individual equations with a certain ppl that i don't want to mix up. plus i didn't want to have a huge celebration sort; just didn't feel upto it. plus with the whole gloom coz of the insecurity, uncertainty around etc it somehow didn't feel right. hence, adequate rationale.

i want to talk about Dev D(not the movie) and make it all serious and full of substance, but i won't. i'm sleepy right now so only when i'm fully awake.

oh i'm twenty. and i feel old. and you know what sucks? i can't go to bangalore for the iim fest coz i have the MIB exam on the same date. i'm not even serious about the exam anyway. why must it always have to happen to me. this was probably the last shot i had at going to an outside fest but thanks to sheer bad luck(again), it is another missed oppurtunity. i guess i'll have to live with the regret of not going to a single outside fest, an unreasonable blotch on an otherwise spotless college life. what the fuck right. but in the same train of thought, it doesn't seem to affect me as much as i think it should've, so i guess i'm getting detached from college already.but it still does affect me.a lot.

got a haircut yesterday. it's short enough to not need a comb. not that i comb my hair anyway, but i won't need to play around with my fingers for the next two weeks at least.

Not thinking about my goals too much. simply because then they end becoming things you talk about and not things that you actually do.

movies seen - juno (neat,reminds me of mia for some reason), death proof (fun, underrated), planet terror(grotesque + wry+intentionally daft=i like),departed(awe-fucking-some, or maybe i'm biased), burn after reading (silly, though i don't like brad pitt dying uselessly. plus the female gym instructor woman gets overbearing after a while)

read - the first of 5 hitchhiker titles, after much procrastination. review post completion.for now, suffice to say it is my sort of humour.

my lyrics for today come from Hoobastank, one hit wonders if you will, 's one hit - the reason. i still love it the way i loved it when i heard it about 4 years or so ago. and i'm still not the perfect person.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt youIt's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all awayAnd be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for meTo change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I doAnd the reason is you 

yours truly

dh1

p.s. i need to buy new shoes since the green ones are coming apart. i was hoping

 i'd find footwear not entirely unlike the converse shoes of yore,in leather.Even the 

alexander mcqueen pumas would do.But alas. And all the other shoes i've seen don't seem to hit the spot.Itna selective bhi nai hona cheeye. also, got free passes for the msosa play from southie boy so should

 probably be checking that out/selling the tickets at a profit.Isse kehte hain win-win. 

Death

i was in c.p. on the 31st circa 8pm, about to leave for home to go back and change and leave again for the night. Namn called up and i assumed i might've crossed him on my way back to the inner circle and so he wants to say hey. So he asks me where i am and once i tell him about my whereabouts, he goes "I'm presuming you haven't heard what has happened." And i'm thinking fuck no. not another bomb in the city. (side note-the security was beefed up around c.p.and when i say beefed up i mean rapid action force cars, about 50 cops with guns moving around the inner circle etc plus the entry of cars banned after 7 and loads of security checks. but then again, this is standard practice in major markets on new year's eve and other such important days so i wasn't perturbed) Turns out it was worse. tarus had been in a fatal car accident in pune 2 hours back. tyre burst, pune expressway, car turns turtle,3 people dead on the spot. including tarus.numb.

the thing is, you read news items like these often but not for a moment do you think something like this could happen to someone you know, much rarely someone you know and like. aah, kids these days. high speed. too bad. next page.

These things never happen to people around us right. right?

Tarus was a genuinely cool guy( i can't believe i'm writing WAS and not IS. and i feel helpless.) which is rare. very rare. he was in my class for 2 years plus we had a few common friends so i did interact with him, not a lot, but not too less either. he was friends with karn, who i was friends with, so we hung out together and it was great coz he was so funny. I even found a few pictures with him where we're making weird faces and generally acting silly.

This is so unreal. I can barely imagine what his lil sister or his mom must be going through right now. And there is nothing one can do to ease the pain. All the soothing words might last a month but they have their lifetimes ahead of them. without a brother. without a son. FUCK. FUCK !

I don't even know what to write or where to take this because it is futile and nothing will bring him back. 

Don't cry that its over, smile that it happened.

right.

whatever.

dh

p.s. i was talking to karn n he told me about his friend from college who was involved in a similar car crash with his family a month back and everyone but the little sister died then and there. and how his(karn's) second cousin killed herself 2 weeks ago. what the fuck is going on. what the fuck.

p.p.s. this after i saw a walk to remember 2 days back. the faith wavers.

The Week That was

*LAST SEMESTER* boo hoo etc. Exams were okayish as always. 4 subjects this time instead of the usual 5 and a 60 mark project. Padhna kisne hai yaar.I'll look forward to Security Analysis though. Or at least i hope i will. The week wasn't too busy as there were hardly any proper classes save the usual introductions to the subject etc. I'm slowly starting to feel detached from college. I see all these bubbly freshers practicing their choreo/streetplay etc and i feel old man !..haha..I mean I owned this place not too long ago but its starting to feel like I'm just a member of the family.Not that i don't own it now but woh seniority wali baat ho jaati hai yaar.Go figure.

CCL came in as a breath of fresh air. For those not in the know, CCL or CBS Cricket League is a 6 over 6 member a side cricket tourney which a group of us started last year and it has now become a tradition I can look back proudly upon. We had both our 1st round group robin matches and we're through to the pre-quarters. Raje single-handedly decimated the opposition in the first match scoring a brisk 29 and we posted a stiff target of 76, winning easily by around 40 or so runs. I picked up 2 wickets so I was glad with my showing as well. The second match(today) was where we screwed up . Chasing a gettable 56 , we were 21 for no loss after 1.3 overs, and looked all set before a mini collapse. The match went down to the wire and we ended up losing by 1 run but thankfully our comfortable net run rate(NRR) from the previous match meant we went through. Looking back, it was a tactical error on my part to bowl the 1st over and gave too many runs early on before Cheap and raje tightened up proceedings. Should've also not tampered with the opening line up.Sending choudhary up the order also proved costly. Koi ni. You win some, you dim sum. It was a good wake up call and it's best we don't get too complacent as we move to the knock out stages.

Did i tell you i read The Kite Runner during the course of the exams. That's what i do; read a novel during and only during exam time.Weird as how I keep regretting this wasteful expenditure of time and still keep doing it semester after semester. Good book though. Really good book. *Calls out*Hitchhiker's omnibus. You're NEXT. *Sounds of lightning*


Sad jokes apart, saw this play on saturday at the IHC called Chaos Theory about two college professors who "experience a lifetime together without expressing their real emotions".Aptly put. Now i don't generally see a lot of plays ( can't remember the last one I saw so I'm presuming it was ages ago) but I can tell you this - I shall be watching many more in the times to come after seeing what I saw on saturday. Exceptional acting apart, the play was crisp, engaging and not over the top(meaning upar se nikal jaayega) as i would've imagined plays would be. Or maybe i had it all wrong in my head in the first place but our(me, aadhar) idea of watching plays paid off, although it was I who pointed out this particular play(I like to take credit for everything good that happens to anyone anywhere). Bappi also came along but I don't know if he enjoyed it as much as i did, even though he did enjoy it. The tickets should've been cheaper though. 300 bucks is a bit sexpensive for college going wannabe regular play watchers man. Also, I banged into bajaj, yaksee, pragyah, n tmyta so I was pleasantly surprised. Talking of IHC, I really like the all american diner. it has a laidback charm which gets me hook, line and sinker.

I banged into tmyta again the next day in khan market. She's probably stalking me, which is good.Caught up with dY and Karn which is always fun. I'm starting to get tired of the whole big chill, khan chacha routine a bit though (finally!)..Khair, yesterday we had kababs at Saleem coz khan chacha was closed due to a family wedding(or so said the notice outside). Kakori is always bliss though chicken isn't half bad either. So isn't penne with vodka, mud pie and our dear friend, the belgian chocolate shake. Now the reason i don't get fat : not because of some hand-me-down family digestive churan (powder) or some shit. it's simple. i burn it.

DVD-rips i saw over this past week - Rock On(loved it), little miss sunshine (loved it), pineapple express (good fun).

Oh, I still need a job, so if you can hook me up somewhere, I shall bestow upon you massive brownie points.

Before we end, my lyrics for the day come from Priscilla Ahn's Find My Way Back Home. If i were you I'd be downloading it right now. Haha no really. You'll know why once you hear it.

Don't you go,
Away, I know,
Without your love,
I'll never find my way back home

'Cause you and me,
So happily,
Make all our dreams of make believe reality

La la la La la la La la la la la

Troubles, never find us there
Oh, bubbles, float through the air,
Float through the air
Float through the air air air air

La la la La la la La la la la la

So don't you go,
Away, I know,
Without your love,
I'll never find my way back home,
I'll never find my way back home,
No, no,
I'll never find my way back home,
No, no,
I'll never find my way back home


Peace and Love
you know who

Business Time

P.S. wrote this a week back, posting now.I know a post script comes in after the piece but this is how i do.Also i've purposely deleted some stuff from the 8th paragraph which i'll update later. I've already written it, but now is not the right time.

--

I hate this time. I'm not appearing for any MBA entrances unlike everyone else, i don't have a job yet and I have no clue what i want to do post college(meaning what sort of work/advertising/consulting/law/sit around and study for MBA/sit around and do nothing/baah), life, Relationships baaaaabaaaa(the way Rekha shouts in Khoon Bhari Maang. Now, Why do i know this). The other day i was watching a movie(Fashion, very has-been, don't watch it.music is not bad though) and i felt i shouldn't be having fun because I'm not supposed to. We ended up doing a lot of crazy stuff inside but on the way back home, that sinking feeling still hit me. Why is everything not the same. I'm going to be 20 soon. Nice, now I'm old too.Perfect.

The *biggest* problem with me is I leave everything to the last moment possible and many a times don't do what is right/what should ideally have been done/ 'The right thing at the right time'/you get the picture. And i take everything and everyone for granted.And i'm not just talking about the above paragraph here.Everything.Everywhere.Everytime.Because in my bubble, everything runs the way i want it to.And it had worked fine for me *until now*.

Man, sometimes i hate myself. At other times, i make do with what I have, because I am all I've got.Haha no, I don't really feel the last line. I just wrote it since it sounded witty. But coming back, as Gandhi said, 'be the change you wish to see in the world'. So lately, instead of cribbing I've started making amends for previous foolish mistakes. Not because Gandhi told me to, but since I really feel it is high time i did. I could write gaffes but, in all honesty, i've been foolish. Let's just hope undo most of my follies and I have a happy story at the end of the tunnel. Fk that. If it isn't happy, its not the end.

I heard Mikey, my colony friend who is away to study's dog, died recently. and I really felt bad. He had been a nice fellow(mikey) and after seeing the way i reacted to the news, i wondered what it had been like had my own dog died(if i did have a dog i.e.). I get too attached, even if i don't show it. But in the same vein, it is our emotions that make us human. And i like it this way.

CCL, the college cricket tourney is around the corner(so are exams) and lets hope my team has fun. Coming to the me and shera in a team debate, Ek Mayaan mein do talwaar nahi reh sakti !hehe.We have taken friends over proven performers so lets hope the gamble pays off.Winning comes in later, but the most important thing is that we enjoy while we're at it. Everything else will follow suit.

Also, while we're at it, i think of aadhar and how i couldn't take him in my team because of his heart condition. Dude, i love you(in a non-gay manner as you already know) even if i don't always say it. And i'm not just talking about the cricket team here, I mean generally.Going out and telling people(guys) that you love them doesn't sound right in my head, maybe because it isn't a guy thing. Not being sexist here, just a thought. But hey, i just did.But i'm not going to do that too often. Nah. VERY Weird.

What is it with AI. She acts so ajeeb i don't even know i should be doing anything at all.Why do you feel me up ! I barely know you !Man, girls are weird. Guys are still monosyllabic ogres who want food, sex and sleep, though not necessarily in that order. Girls are way too complexer(wow. a new word). They have so many layers to them one(guys) can barely imagine. And i speak from experience. Though this one has been totally weird.

Talking of weird, why do i get weird when it has to do with S. WHY? Its like i become a totally different weird shy awkward person and she's probably thinking I'm a goner. (..) C’mon I don't even know her that well. (..) talking to her (..).But deep down (..) it is totally my fault i screwed everything up. Why do i always wake up so late? Its like a sudden moment of epiphany and voila now i realise everything..Heck if i can go o(..) 10 years(?)(..)At least I won't regret it later.(..) Is it too late? Will this become a shitty story I'll tell my grand kids(?!) (..)The least i can do is to tell (..)But the problem is, by not doing something I can 1) still have the hope in my head that there is still a possi(..) and 2)i dont like the idea of (..) and everything being over(..)I'd rather have her as a (..)friend( can i say friend?)than not at all. It does'nt feel right. I was probably not afraid of the outcome in my previous '(..)'so i went ahead and did as i thought. but this time its different.Man, i have my exams coming up i should really be studying.Aargh.I dont even know where this is headed so I'll stop at that.

Oh the newsletter came out today. Not bad at all. I was mighty proud, what with the whole editors column et all.. haha yea. I'm glad i took to writing. I lowe it. People love it. And i love the love too. it took some effort planning out the whole newsletter though. Paru, if you're reading this you're the best. I wonder what it'd be without your designing 'expertise' :)

Coming to humour then. The thing with humour is, it disarms people, makes them trust you and gives them the illusion they've known you longer than they actually have. It is a win win situation! (See !). Its not that I am funny dhawan 24/7. It is more like 8/7.But i like to keep things easy as and when I can. Am i afraid to show the serious side of me to everyone? Or am i using humour as a defence mechanism? What am i, Chandler?! Let us leave that to your imagination.Ah well, another day another time.

I'll update this later. I should really sleep now.and i wrote this directly into the window so excuse the grammatical errors. 

rgds,

dh

Thoughts

I shall keep posting and updating this blog entry(?) whenever i find a fun quote in a cheap, patronizing sort of way. And i when i have enough, I don't know what i'll do with them.But hey, the fun lies in the journey and not the end.

if you can't give something from the heart, the next best thing is to give something from the crotch.

Don't let your dignity get in the way of your online prostitution

Have fun, it's your life and it's your body: cheapen it!

having children when you're that stupid is child abuse

Yeah, you're a child at heart, just as soon as children start going to work every day to rot in a cubicle for a meager pay check so they can drink their troubles away in a shitty bar for the rest of their lives.

Looking for a safe stance on abortion? Me neither.

Ever notice how people ask you what sign you are and always say "I knew it" only after you tell them which one? That's because they're full of shit.

Square Root of 3

I fear that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

A three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

Has quietly come waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
Form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
And with the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become ungood
And love for me, has been renewed