रैनडमली तुम्हारा

मेरे प्रिय मित्रों,
सप्रेम नमस्ते ।
आज केवल हिन्दी।क्योंकि मेरा मन् कर राहा है।

पिछले हफ्ते की आई एम् एस कक्षाएं रद्द हो गयीं क्योंकी उन्होंनेअंग्रेज़ी इज्ज़त (Hons) प्रवेश परीक्षा हेतु नई कक्षाएं शुरू कर दी हैं।नोशनल लॉस हो गया। मतलब यहाँ भी कट्टा । भी शब्द का प्रयोग इसलिए क्योंकि मोबिसोल्व ने चूत्याप मचा कर मुझे बेरोजगार कर दिया। वह था कट्टा नम्बर १।

अब मैं फिर वहीं आ गया जहाँ पे पहले था। यानी " बेक टू स्क्वेयर वन" । थैंक यू प्रभु। क्यूँ ले रहे हो मेरा।

इम्तेहान। हालांकि यही हाल जगह जगह हो रहा है(पर मैं ही क्यों?)।उदाहरन - मेरा मित्र शिवताज अमरीका में उच्च पढाई के बाद भी यहाँ लौटकर काम की तलाश में है। यानी जब भगवान् देता है तोह छप्पर फाड़ के देता है और जब लेता है तोह नंगाकर देता है ।
मतलब भगवन = " अ बुली; विद अ हार्ट" ।

खैर अच्छे लोगों के साथ अच्छा ही होता है।

मतलब मैं तोह गया।

बैहरहाल, आजकल काफी भ्रमन हो रहा है। रविवार को वसंत विहार गया और रात में साईडवोक। सोमवार को देव, सत्यम एवं मदान से खाने पर मिला। बाद में चुस्की भी खाई और जीवन मरण इत्यादि पर चर्चा भी की। यह देव मेरी बोहत लेता है। पर दिल का साफ़ है। मंगलवार को माताजी का जन्मदिन था और कल गया गुडगाँव और रातमें क्लब। मतलब काफ़ी भ्रमन।

माताजी को मैने फूल दीये और निरंतर प्रयास किया कि उनकी खुशी का पात्र बनूँ।

फूल रात में लाया था इसलिए सस्ते भी मिल गए। पर ये बात माताजी को मत बताना।

अब मैं चला। ६ बज गए हैं।
यानी स्तनपान टाइम ।
आपका अपना,
द्ध१

पी ऐस १ -
सृष्टि कल विदेश जा रही है। मैं अपने ब्लॉग के माध्यम से आशा करता हूँ कि वह खूब मज़ा करे।
और मेरे लिए कुछ बढ़िया लाये। :)

पी एस २ -
मुझे लगता है मेरे वाहियाद परिहासों से बचे कुचे पाठक भी इस ब्लॉग पे आना छोड़ देंगे।

जय जुन्जुनु

avant garde

Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

The first is pick up stuff.

 

If you're disabled.

BOOM goes da RIDDIM

Hello my nigger friends.

How is it hanging?

Life’s a bitch eh?

Underachieved throughout your existence?

No social standing?

Neighbourhood kids still poke fun at ya?

Relationship issues?

Penile dysfunction?

No self respect?

I got just what you need

*drumrolls*

Presenting -> 

.

.

.

.

Poison.

Think about it! Give back to the community by cutting down its population(!)

.

.

.

.

This is the end of the blogpost.

P.S. If you have any bright ideas, feedback or big boobs, holler at yo boi.

Umm..im not your boy..im just saying..just email me.

Also, the poison bit was just jokes. Don’t experiment with shit like that and blame me later. Come to think of it, you wouldn’t be able to.

just when you thought i couldn't stoop lower !

(..)

Awwal Number*

i love cricket. period.

it is a great leveller. like death. but i digress.

This blog is dedicated to my random blabbering about cricket.

But first, thank you Mr.Modi and the BCCI.meri raatein rangeen karne ke liye! matlab IPL aur kya.Talking of which, i made some moves on my cricinfo league team(proper payoff diagram bana ke.or maybe not) and they paid off. so from the highs of topping the league to the lows of being 16th out of 50 odd people, im back again in the top 5.malinga chaiye yaar. and an all rounder to replace shukla. if only nayar got to bat regularly.Also, thank you balki for your help.

Watching jayasurya and sachin bat together for the 100 run partnership against KKR the other day was just bliss. pure bliss. i love this game. Its sad Punjab lost yesterday though. Yuvi was in top form and im sure Mr. Yograaj Singh is disappointed and will go around shooting people for the heck of it**.

Yograaj Singh, Yuvi ka papa-->

Which brings us to player no.1-my main man Praveen Kumar. He looks like such a gangster with his gold chain, stout build and this silent, dangerous vibe about him. Sai banda hai yaar. Really like that guy for no real reason. What he lacks in pace, he makes up in swing and the way his ball skids after hitting the turf. Plus he's a cool guy, very grounded and very earthy. Can whack a few too. Push him up the order, mr.whoever is the captain for RCB's next match!

My boy Uthhappas up next. Stop blaming jesus and get some runs dude! I was hoping he'd give a serious fight this time around for he needs to make a place in the 11 with the t20 cup around the corner. Why he is screwing up every time, only he knows. Likeable guy otherwise and the reason he is still even in my books is his mosquito squat for 6 off a 150kmph brett lee bouncer in the VB series. Recreate or perish!

The other thing i've realised is, it's always best to go with your gut instinct. Like i didn't want to pick ryder in my team for i thought he would'nt do too well in the IPL. but alas, i didnot listen to the sane part of me because everyone else had seemingly picked up mr. ryder and so there was groupthink and we all know what would’ve happened next.

Coming back,Raina is one proper fighter. He somehow ups his game when the chips are down and fights the good fight. and hits huge sixes at deep mid wicket along the way.lambi race ka ghoda hai.and he doesn’t need to rant and rave like Virat Kohli to show he’s charged up!  He is the reason Mr.lazy genius/heir apparent to tendya(Rohit Sharma, aur kaun) has to twiddle his thumbs on match days.Like the time his place was uncertain in the team and he hit back to back hundreds against them Pakis.Plus he is left-handed so i anyway have a soft corner for him.More power to you suresh.

Moving on, Ishant Sharma. bhai tu itna ugly kyun hai yaar? I'm the last person who'd discriminate based on the way people look, but in his case I'll make an exception.And if that wasn't enough, you should hear him speak. But allah meherbaan, toh gadha pehelwaan. He gets to do what the fakeiplplayer*** says he does in S.A. while i do what Rohit Sharma gets to do in the Indian test team. 

Talking of which, what is up with Mr. Ravi Shastri. Why. WHY did he speak to Yusuf Pathan in english after his hurricane superover innings, when he KNOWS for a fact that yusuf isn't comfortable. What is up with his assumed IamCoolerThanAndSuperiortoEveryone thingamajig? The only guy he seems to have a soft corner(and hard on****) for is our man Yuvi. And i really wanted to hear what yusuf had to say so thanks for nothing ravi ji.

The one guy i love though, is Harsha Bhogle.He is also part of the reason i've grown up loving cricket(the other part being Tendya).(P.S. Totally looking forward to another season of Champions of the World sir.)Its so good to hear him again.All the other commentators JUST DONT MAKE THE CUT. Why don't they get it. I mean, Aamir Sohail?! I could commentate better than him! He reminds me of Mr.Burns(Simpsons). And everytime i see him, i’m reminded of the 1996 indo-pak world cup semi where he rubbed venky the wrong way and paid the price. Now THAT was a game.

And why isn't Tyron Henderson in the playing 11?! Hell, RR paid 650,000 for him they sure as hell could do with a few runs. And the guy is Good. Surely better than Quiney, Paul Valthadey or whichever shitty player they pick to fill up the 4 qouta. WHY? Why Warnie WHY?

Team talk then. I really want Delhi to do well. But we NEED warner in the middle. I mean dinesh(nice helmet) karthik at no.5? viru kya kar rah hai yaar.And it’s about time pidge came into the scheme of things as well. Half the IPL is already gone! Deccan has played to potential but I would want to see how they keep it tight once edwards is gone.Ojha reminds of Jose, the VJ. He flights the ball the same way Murali Kartik doesn’t. Isliye chance hai iska. Brownie points coz mere jaise lefty spinner hai! hehe.Punjab could do with a little luck. They have the firepower but somehow there’s this spark missing. Yuvi came good in the last match so here’s hoping he can bring the team together like Kumble did the other day. Aur kya mast over daala Praveen ne. More brownie points to him. I still have my faith in Punjab though. They’re in my cool book and I want them to win, so win they shall. Chennai needs bowlers although the new ones came good today against Delhi.Didn’t see them play but im guessing they’re better than Joginder Sharma. Everyone is! Consistency wali baat hai with Chennai.But i expect them to do well as well. Mumbai looks tight.They have a good bowling line up  with in form Zak n Malinga keeping Bhajji company.Their batting though, sans the formidable openers, looks a bit shaky so i won’t put my money on Mumbai JUST YET.Which leaves us with RR. Warnie really knows how to extract the best out of his resources and is one of the smartest tacticians this game has seen. More than his moves, it’s his apparent sense of control over the game which I believe must be intimidating for the opposition. Having said that, they really need Smith to fire constantly if they intend to go the whole hog this time. They’re really missing Watson and I’m sure the law of averages will soon catch up with Yusuf Pathan which will then be a tricky place to be in for the RR. Play Henderson, bitches! Raut and Carseldine looked good today though.

On the whole, it’s getting closer than one would’ve thought, so realistically every team(apart from KKR i.e.) has a chance. Lets see if Kumble charged RCB can spoil the party.

That’s all for today folks. Kaafi likh liya yaar.I can keep talking like this forever.

warmth,

dh

--

*Awwal Number was  a movie on cricket made by Dev Anand(starring Aamir Khan)

<-- Dev Saab. Scouting for fresh faces for his upcoming movie after the success of Love at Times Square and Mr.Prime Minister Do you have it in you?

** The reference is, Yograaj Singh was supposedly involved in the Jessica Lal murder case

***FakeIPLplayer says Ishant is getting some carnal activity these days in shady places, S.A.

****google what hard on means if you don't know already, noob.

p.s. here's my list of teams for the semis.it is anybodys game abhi but these are the teams i expect to make it to the semis(note that I could be totally wrong. I mean TOTALLY. but i want these ones to go through) - Delhi, Punjab, Chennai, and a 4th. Mumbai won't make it through. sorry Mum.although my dream final would be DD vs MI. but thats the thing with wishes, innit?...

welding fever

Dy ki behn ka rishta aaya. Now where do i come in to the picture?Apparently the guy works in E&Y, where i know some ppl, so i was asked to pataaofy what his salary and job are like ! and yes, hilarity did ensue.

I guess its important to have a job that makes a difference. That’s why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination. Ok maybe not(!), but the point is you need to get "settled" in life before you set the marriaZe ball rolling.eeee. kya badon(oldies) wali baatein kar raha hoon main.cheeeeee.

Talking of which R bhya is also getting hitched soon with someone from the mid-west(matlab maharashtra). Agreed i haven't met him in ages, but phir bhi yaar, ghar ki shaadi hai. ArranZed marriaZe.Koi LOU marriaze karo yaar. Ab toh shobo pe societal pressure badh jayega coz he's next in line. haha! good fun.

Talking of which, met Karn n Dy day before. So this friend of Karn's from college who was dating Dhoni(yehp, cricket captain) is now actually going to get married to him early next year (remember where you heard it first! her name is Sakshi Singh Rawat! guys like to gossip sometimes too!). I hope Karn gets to take people with him to the wedding :) (given that he gets invited in the first place. haha). Had a pretty good time otherwise.also, had yoghurt ice cream which was, unlike most pseudo healthy things, pretty good.

I should've been studying today(..), but instead i saw the blue umbrella. i am a sucker for simple folksy tales and so, had a really good time.Clean and uncomplicated,it was totally enjoyable all the same and pankaj kapur was remarkable to say the least. Vishal Bharadwaj has this knack of extracting legendary performances from his cast(Omkara,Maqbool etc) and he did not disappoint. He has totally upped the children's movie ante and it makes me look forward to his next release(Kaminey) even more.It is a DH1 recommend!

 <--LOUU-->  

Quick fact: Rekha Bharadwaj, the singer with the husky, earthy, sensuous(.. you get the drift) voice (the one who sang Namak Ishq ka, Ranaji,Gainda Phool..) is Vishal's wife. And Vishal has till date, given the music for all his films. So two facts.

My lyrics for today come from Jason Mraz's latest. It takes me back to them laid back beaches in Jamaica(not that i've been to the caribbean in the first place but what the hell!). So without further ado, Jason Mraz- Im yours :)

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment babay sing with me
We're just one big family
And It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, not yours
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate 
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Scooch on over closer dear
And i will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more, no more 
It cannot wait I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours
Please don't, please don't, please don't
There's no need to complicate
Cause our time is short
This oh this this is out fate, I'm yours!

--

peace and love

dh

of dreams, among other things

i had a dream once where cheap's mom(whom i had met only once before) was crying and being all sentimental etc..odd peculiar dream..

and after a month or so cheap's cheating 1 year flunk fiasco happened.. 

and i had a dream last week during the exams where bappi and dev d were in a car together and met with an accident on the day of an exam.. and THE VERY NEXT DAY they were coming together(which they don't normally do, seeing as one lives in west delhi while the other lives near NOIDA) and they reached the exam 40 mins late for a 2hr paper coz they got up late and got stuck in a traffic jam..

and now i had a vision some time back where john abraham(?!) goes through people and slams into a wall, like a spirit sorta thing. which was all silly until i saw No Smoking yesterday. The movie was abstract, original, self indulgent(director ki or se), experimental and satisfying. But that's not the point.

The point is, the movie had the EXACT same scene.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!1 right?

Exactly my thoughts.

I mean, growing up i had a feeling of deja vu etc once in a while but then again, so did a lot of other people and it wasn't all bizarre and eerie so i was ok with that. But this isn't like that.

This is more like peeking into the not so distant future.

And the picture of the asian female with THE sun for a bindi ain't helping

My lyrics for today come from The (one hit) Wonders' one hit - That Thing you do from the eponymous movie, written and directed by Tom Hanks. I still love the song as much as i did when i first heard it, and that, my friend, is something.

You,
Doin' that thing you do, 
Breaking my heart into a million pieces,
Like you always do 
And you,
Don't mean to be cruel,
You never even knew about the heartache,
I've been going through 
Well I try and try to forget you girl,
But it's just so hard to do,
Every time you do that thing you do 

I,
Know all the games you play,
And I'm gonna find a way to let you know that,
You'll be mine someday 
'Cause we,
Could be happy can't you see,
If you'd only let me be the one to hold you,
And keep you here with me 
'Cause I try and try to forget you girl,
But it's just so hard to do,
Every time you do that thing you do

I don't ask a lot girl,
But I know one thing's for sure, 
It's the love I haven't got girl,
And I just can't take it anymore 

'Cause we,
Could be happy can't you see,
If you'd only let me be the one to hold you,
And keep you here with me 
Cause it hurts me so just to see you go,
Around with someone new,
And if I know you you're doin' that thing,
Every day just doin' that thing,
I can't take you doing that thing you do

happy holi

dh

p.s. here's hoping cheap gets ok soon, aadhar's dad gets the delhi-6 seat, dev d gets a job and raja gets laid. ok the last bit was a joke.

maybe not.

also, i really need to transfer all my songs from the computer to this thing.

p.s.3. only a month of college to go and then i'm good to go. :l

p.s.4. did you know that khalid mohammad(the ex-HT movie reviewer/critic, fiza director,son of zubeida on who's life zubeida the movie is based dude) writes the under honey's hat column, the one with all the bolly gossip that appears regularly in ht city(delhi) and ht cafe(mumbai)!

I know !

p.s.5. the 1 after the !!!!! above (WTF !!!!1 right?) was intended