the reason

i treated the guys to booze and food on friday, a kind of soft mini bday celebration(which still cost a lot by the way) which presents me with a peculiar problem. it still leaves about 9 ppl that i still need to treat for which i need a) a plan, b) money. also sristay-vasu have already given me bday gifts so more guilt pangs coz i'm yet to treat em :l . i dropped the original everyone coming together at my place/lodhi picnic idea coz i just didn't feel like it. plus i have individual equations with a certain ppl that i don't want to mix up. plus i didn't want to have a huge celebration sort; just didn't feel upto it. plus with the whole gloom coz of the insecurity, uncertainty around etc it somehow didn't feel right. hence, adequate rationale.

i want to talk about Dev D(not the movie) and make it all serious and full of substance, but i won't. i'm sleepy right now so only when i'm fully awake.

oh i'm twenty. and i feel old. and you know what sucks? i can't go to bangalore for the iim fest coz i have the MIB exam on the same date. i'm not even serious about the exam anyway. why must it always have to happen to me. this was probably the last shot i had at going to an outside fest but thanks to sheer bad luck(again), it is another missed oppurtunity. i guess i'll have to live with the regret of not going to a single outside fest, an unreasonable blotch on an otherwise spotless college life. what the fuck right. but in the same train of thought, it doesn't seem to affect me as much as i think it should've, so i guess i'm getting detached from college already.but it still does affect me.a lot.

got a haircut yesterday. it's short enough to not need a comb. not that i comb my hair anyway, but i won't need to play around with my fingers for the next two weeks at least.

Not thinking about my goals too much. simply because then they end becoming things you talk about and not things that you actually do.

movies seen - juno (neat,reminds me of mia for some reason), death proof (fun, underrated), planet terror(grotesque + wry+intentionally daft=i like),departed(awe-fucking-some, or maybe i'm biased), burn after reading (silly, though i don't like brad pitt dying uselessly. plus the female gym instructor woman gets overbearing after a while)

read - the first of 5 hitchhiker titles, after much procrastination. review post completion.for now, suffice to say it is my sort of humour.

my lyrics for today come from Hoobastank, one hit wonders if you will, 's one hit - the reason. i still love it the way i loved it when i heard it about 4 years or so ago. and i'm still not the perfect person.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt youIt's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all awayAnd be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for meTo change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I doAnd the reason is you 

yours truly

dh1

p.s. i need to buy new shoes since the green ones are coming apart. i was hoping

 i'd find footwear not entirely unlike the converse shoes of yore,in leather.Even the 

alexander mcqueen pumas would do.But alas. And all the other shoes i've seen don't seem to hit the spot.Itna selective bhi nai hona cheeye. also, got free passes for the msosa play from southie boy so should

 probably be checking that out/selling the tickets at a profit.Isse kehte hain win-win.